Ask the Right Questions First

OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that. 

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general. 

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong. 

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work.  Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online.  All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme.  That’s not only wise but vital.  So what’s a nice guy to do?  You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo.  You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you. 

You must be patient.  Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives.  Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online.  Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face.  She will think you are desperate or a pervert.  Patience.  Patience. Patience. 

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job.  A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit.  Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. 

A picture really is worth a thousand words.  Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots.  If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head. 

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours  and that she bring a friend with her.  After all, you have nothing to hide.  You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you.  The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

Nice Guys Do It, Too!

I’m talking about online dating, of course. When the phenomenon of online dating sites started several years ago, they were a haven for perverts, sexual predators, nerds, and weirdoes of assorted varieties.

That is just no longer the case. All the stigma of online dating is gone.  Online dating has gone main stream and is, not only acceptable, but expected. Online dating has become the primary tool of single people of all ages to generate an interesting and rewarding social life.

Let’s face it…we are busy guys. We just simply do not have the time, the energy, or the financial where-with-all to date several nights each week while we look for the “one”. You can sort through hundreds of profiles in a month for less money than you would spend on one evening out, thus, saving time and money. We use the internet to save ourselves time and money for a lot of things like investments, shopping, medical information, and communications.

Why not make use of such a useful tool for our social and personal lives as well? You could find the love of your life. At the very least, you will meet some interesting people and possibly make some lasting friendships.  It’s easy to get started. All you need is a computer and an internet connection. You’ll need to search for online dating services that meet your specific needs. They are many and varied.

Join one or two. Then you’ll need to write a great profile, upload a recent picture of yourself and start making and answering contacts. That really is all there is to it…that and patience.

Don’t wait any longer to start your new and interesting social life.  Miss or Ms. “Right” could be only a few clicks of the mouse away. 

Online Dating Can Be Tough

Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys:  Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man.  Are you surprised?  It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.     

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women.  Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still.  It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move.  It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line.  Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”.  The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything?  If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen. 

Online Flirting – A New Art Form

Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting.  Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT.  If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”.  So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language?  All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right? 

1. Have fun!  Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.  Make her eager to talk to you again.  Flirting is playful. 
2. Ooze confidence.  Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life.  You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.  An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies. 
3. Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.  Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself.  She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.  Do Not be self depreciating. 
4. Listen…listen….listen.  Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions.  Get her to open up and talk about herself.  Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.  Works wonders! 
5.  Don’t be rude.  Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect.  If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach. 
6. Send an email after you chat.  This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting. 

Don’t try to go too fast.  Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.